Wednesday, October 9, 2013

2 YEARS AGAIN

It seems ever two years I am doing the same old bullshit! When will I stop the freaking madness already! Lord, I feel I'm full of crap. I have mad some changes but I still feel the same and different at the same time. What do I need to Do!?! I feel like I have to accomplish things now. Lord, am I going to do soon of something? Or am I suffering from impatience? Lord, I love you!


Lord, I need help because I have an addiction, and it is food. I really LOVE to eat. I don't think my issues are from a negative place. I wasn't raped or mistreated I LOVE food. I feel like my desire has control over me. Is that just an excuse?


I try not to have regrets, try to make myself feel better saying "no regret", but that just a lie. I do regret a lot of my chooses. I don't love my fat, I DO Love myself but I don't like my muffin top. I want to be able to run, jump, and be active without stereotypical fat girl problems. I know I will be even hotter when I down a few pounds.

So it's truth time, I want to be skinny, hot and sexy. I am 3 years from 30, is this that just wild? To think about being 3o. I hope to be out of Tennessee and I really want to go to back to school. So two years ago I wanted to make some things happen, but don't get me wrong I have accomplished a lot.

1) I'm not working from at converges anymore, Thank God! I'm working at a new job that I actually enjoy. It has it issues but I have I haven't had a panic attack in 4 months :).

2) I'm still doing photography, I kind of stopped for a while but God, has placed people in my life that has helped me reignite my passion again. I really love taking pictures at my church. God is so great because when I take pictures I get so many ideas. I would like to show my pictures at gallery, "the Power of Praise". I just love shooting people in the grips of praise!

3) thanks about it... Also, I am still healthy still no cancer. Thank you God. I haven't forgotten my promise.  I know there is more to be proud of, just can think right now. God I thank you and I love you!













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